Chapter 5.2 – Loss

A fairytale doesn’t always have a happy ending. I would like to say that Amy found out about Luke and Georgia’s affair and gave them her blessing. I would even like to say that Amy found out – at least that catastrophe would have been manageable, but such simplicity never strikes the Starr family.

After their declaration to each other it was decided that Luke was going to break up with Amy. They planned to lie low for a while to allow Amy to get over him before they announced their relationship. But the day when all of this was due go down things took a very big turn for the love struck teenagers.

Luke arrived panting at Georgia house just before she was about to leave for school. It looked like he had run all the way to hers and was panting so hard he could hardly talk. 

“What’s the matter,” she asked trying to calm down his breathing. “Are you ok?”

“I’m leaving,” Luke wheezed.

“What,” Georgia gasped.  “What do you mean you’re leaving?  Where are you going?”

“My dad,” Luke continued slowly regaining his breath.  “My dad is sending me to military school!”

“When?”

“Now!  We are leaving right now!”

“What do you mean? You can’t go!  What about us?”

“I know.  He only told me this morning. I’ve known it might happen for a while but apparently they had an opening and they called my dad last night. If I don’t go this morning I’ll lose my space.”

“This can’t be happening,” Georgia said rubbing her temples. She had just found Luke, she can’t lose him now!

Suddenly a car pulled up on the sidewalk. A stern looking man Georgia took to be Luke’s dad leant across and seat.  “Luke, we are leaving now. Get in the car.”

“One minute dad,” Luke called back

“Georgia I’m sorry,” he said turning back to Georgia. “I’ve tried everything. I begged and pleaded with my dad but he won’t let me get out of it. It’s what we’ve been planning for years.  Well what I was planning before I met you!”

Tears trickled down Georgia’s face and she felt her pain turning into anger.

“Darling this is not the end.  I will be back and I will write to you every day,” Luke said trying to reach out to her.

“Get off me,” she suddenly snapped pulling away from him.

“You’ve planned this along,” she spat feeling her anger seep from every pore. “You made me fall in love with you and now you’re leaving me to clear up your mess!”

“Luke NOW,” Luke’s dad called again beeping his horn violently.

“JUST ONE MINUTE,” Luke screamed at him then turning back to Georgia. “It’s not like that, believe me I love you. I don’t want to leave you!”

“Save it Luke.  Save it for someone gullible like Amy!”

“I don’t want Amy. I want you!”

“Well I don’t want you anymore.  Don’t write me, don’t call!”  She was so mad she could not see straight. She ran into the house hearing the bleeping of Luke’s dad’s car horn blaring behind her.  She slammed the door shut and sunk to floor until she heard the roar of the car engine disappear into the distance.

Georgia did not go school that day. She went back to bed and lay hidden under her duvet feeling very sorry for herself.  How could he leave her, she thought. He was her soul mate! Every hour or so Georgia’s phone rang. It alternated between Amy and Jessica but Georgia ignored it every time and eventually switched it off. She knew that Amy would have heard about Luke’s departure by now and was also in pain but she didn’t care. No one felt about him the way she did.

The next day, her mother forced her out of bed and made her go to school.  She skulked through the school gates avoiding everyone she could. But she could not hide forever.

“Georgia where’ve you been,” Jessica shrieked while Georgia was loading her books into her locker.  “Amy and I have been calling and calling you.  Why weren’t you at school yesterday?” 

“I wasn’t feeling very well,” Georgia uttered. 

“Well you never guess what happened.  Luke left Amy!” 

“What do you mean,” Georgia snapped spinning around.  “Has he dumped her?” 

“Well not exactly,” Jessica hesitated.  “He sent her a text yesterday morning telling her he had been shipped off to military school by his dad. He told her not to wait for him.” 

“What do you mean,” Georgia exclaimed.  “What did the text exactly say Jessica.” 

“Err let me think. Well it said the bit about going to military school and then it said that things could not work between them and to move on.” 

“I need to find Amy,” Georgia said slamming her locker door shut and hurrying down the corridor. 

“She’s so upset Georgia,” Jessica said chasing after her.  “We both tried to call you all day yesterday. She really needs you.”

Georgia stormed up the hallway and found Amy huddled in the corner with the golden group.

“Georgia,” Amy shrieked bursting into tears and running into Georgia’s arms. 

“Shhh shhhh,” Georgia said holding her cousin’s quivering body.  “Jessica told me, it’s ok.” 

“How could he just go off like that and dump me in a text message,” she wept.  “I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.” 

“I’m sure he did not mean to hurt you,” Georgia said.  Or me, she thought but she too was still so mad at him that she decided not to offer any more excuses. 

“Come on,” she said putting her arm around her best friend’s shoulders.  “I think we need some ice-cream.”

“Thank you,” Amy said allowing Georgia to lead her down the corridor, “You’re the best.” I wonder how long I can keep this up, Georgia thought.

The days that followed were the worst. Georgia’s body ached with grief for losing Luke.  After school she holed up in her bedroom sketching away frantically at her drafting board to try to take her mind off her loss.

On the sixth day a letter arrived in the post.  She could see from the postmark that it had come from Twinbrook where the military school was based. 

She sat starring at the letter for ages, wondering what to do.  Eventually she decided against opening it. What was the point, she thought.  He’s never coming back.  She tore the letter into pieces scattering the scraps in the bin and removing the bag from the house, she did not want anything more to do with it.

Then two days later another letter followed, and then another. All from Luke, all left unopened.  She did the same thing each time, tore them all up and threw them away not even giving one a chance to breath.

Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Georgia just never imagined that things could get this bad.

At first she thought her body was reacting to the loss of her soul mate.  Then as her sense of smell got sharper and the nausea started she assumed she was just sick.  But then after she had been throwing up for three weeks straight every morning, she put two and two together and came out with four. “I can’t be,” she said out loud starring at herself in the mirror.  She looked pale and drawn and had obviously lost weight from being so sick. 

She rubbed her tummy and felt that it was hard and swollen although there was no bump.  “I can’t be,” she said again pulling on a large turtle neck jumper that always hid any sins.

“Hey Georgia are you coming to Pete’s party tonight,” Jessica asked as her and Amy approached Georgia at her locker. A boy named Phil was also in toe, he was Amy’s new boyfriend and latest squeeze.  Georgia was pleased that her friend had moved on quickly from Luke, she just wished she was able to do the same. 

“Nah I can’t tonight,” she replied. 

“Aww come on,” Jessica whined.  “Its gonna be so much fun and you haven’t been out with us for ages.” 

“Sorry guys, I’m just not up to it right now. Another time yeah?” 

“What’s wrong with you,” Amy snapped looking at Georgia with aversion.  “You never come out with us anymore. You look like shit and what the hell is that you’re wearing.” 

“Amy,” Jessica exclaimed. 

“No Jessica, she needs to hear this.  Georgia, you’ve been moping around for weeks now and its driving us all mad.  Jessica’s told me to be patient with you but I’ve had enough. Either tell me what’s eating you or maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” 

“I’m fine,” Georgia replied looking at her feet. She wanted more than anything in the world to share her woes with her best friends but this was one thing she could not tell them. 

“Oh for god sake,” Amy huffed.  “I’ve had enough of this. Georgia do us all a favor and pull yourself together. You know where we are when you do.”  She threw her arms up in the air and stormed off, Phil trailing behind her like a little lost puppy. 

“Don’t worry about her,” Jessica said.  “I think she’s just on her period or something.” She then gave Georgia her patronizing sympathetic look and hurried off up the corridor after Amy. 

I wish I had that problem, Georgia thought clutching her stomach.

Georgia never went to her doctors and she never took a test. Instead she stuck her head in the sand and hide from the truth. Denial is a powerful thing when it is all you have.  Even as her body changed and his stomach swelled, she just covered it with bigger and bigger t-shirts hoping people would just believe she was getting fat.  She started isolating herself from everyone. At home, she hide away in her room and at school she segregated herself from everyone else knowing that if people took no notice of her, they would not notice the change in her appearance. 

She convinced herself that she was happier this way – away from the bitchy cliques and judgmental friends.  The one regret she had was letting her friendship to Amy slip. But she was so full of pain and hurt that she knew there was no way back for them, even if Amy did not understand why!